24 February, 2006

Happy Suckin' Birthday!; Things I Saw

Happy Suckin' Birthday...

to me!

Well, see, my birthday actually does not exist this year. So how, you may ask, can it possibly suck?

Let me count the ways.

1. By not existing!
2. By trying to make plans with friends, most of whom flake out on you before the plans get made...
3. By having a husband who has to travel at a moment's notice and almost had to go to Chicago this weekend (but did not, so maybe that does not really count towards the suckiness)...
4. By having a small child throw up in your bed and ruin all but one pillow, 3 people's night's sleep (me, her, and Bob) and waking up the dog who then had to go out...
5. By taking said sick small child to the doctor and finding out that she has Scarlet Fever AND an ear infection...
6. By canceling all plans due to small child's sickness and watching pitifully as husband heads to the Gap to spend his Christmas return gift card...
7. By getting my hair cut and it's too short...

How does my non-existent birthday not suck?
1. I HAVE LOST 30.8 POUNDS!
2. My family really does love me - it's just a sucky day
3. Watching the girls play hide and seek together
4. Finding out that Scarlet Fever is not fatal.
5. If nothing else I will have clean sheets and new pillows tonight!
6. Carolyn is bringing me a movie and a present!
7. Bob is going to re-landscape the front flowerbeds "however I want them" for my b-day INCLUDING some topiaries which I just love!

So Happy Suckin' Birthday to me...whenever we end up celebrating!

Thing I Saw
1. Bumper sticker.

"Somewhere in Texas...a village is missing its idiot."

2. Sign in cheese department at grocery store:

"Questions about laxatives? See your pharmacist."

'Nuff said!

sfw