18 October, 2005

Granny Get Your Gun; Boo!; Digging

Granny Get Your Gun
My grandmother is not your typical octogenarian. In fact, if she read that I used that word in the same sentence with her she would kick my ass. And I am pretty sure she could take me.

She has a gentleman friend, Mr. Bob. I mentioned him before. Apparently they are hot and heavy with no need for chemical enhancement. She drives a black convertible. She prefers red but could not find one, so Mr. Bob's son reupholstered the driver's seat in red leather. She works out at the athletic club in her hometown 6 days a week. And here is where the trouble is.

Yesterday during her morning water aerobics class, the instructor was motivating them by yelling, "Come on, kick it up, let's do it, whoooooo" and my grandmother joined in, as did several others. Apparently, the woman next to her did not prefer all that and so she splashed my grandmother. Right in the face.

Well, being a lady, my grandmother, Nana, did nothing and kept working out, but I am sure that she was FUMING inside. So class is over, they go in the locker room and take showers, and Nana takes a little longer than usual. She comes out and who is sitting there but Splashy. "I certainly hope you did not have anything important to do this afternoon, since I ruined your hair," she says, real nasty. And the conversation continued all catty and bitchy and the culmination of months of this bitch taunting my grandmother ended when Nana took her 52 ounce jug of ice water and threw it on said bitch.

Go Granny Go! And I wonder where I get my temper and my flair for the dramatic!

Meghan is going to be a ghostie for Halloween. She LOVES to take her blanket, put it over her head, and run around and laugh. So her costume is settled. Now we are trying to teach her to say Boo!

It's coming out BOW!

Bless her heart!

Bob is digging around the LDS archives, looking up family history. "While you are digging," I said casually the other day, "see what you can find out about getting the records of my dad's adoption." My dad was adopted when he was 2 and we know that his parents were married, but his mother's mother hated the son-in-law so much that she forced them to divorce and give up my dad for adoption. So I have always wondered - maybe because my relationship with his adoptive parents has always been strained at best, maybe because I need to know my roots, maybe because I swear my dad is Arab (he and my brother look faintly terrorist if they don't shave), I just have always felt like I needed to know more.

So Bob found out how to request adoption records in the correct state and I sent the letter. Then I confessed to my brother that I had done it. And begged him not to tell my dad. Dad always said he would look for his birth family after his adoptive parents were dead. They have been gone for 5 years now, but as far as I knew he had never done any looking.

Well, apparently, I don't know everything because my brother tells me "Oh, he already knows."


"He knows who his parents are. They are relatives of so and so and so and so and he knows their names and everything. His sister told him a few years ago."


Well. There you go.


16 October, 2005

Where have you been, young lady?; Notes from all over

Where have you been, young lady?
I have been watching Lost. AWESOME. It even makes up for Friends being off the air. I can not believe that I did not catch this show last year. But I have completely caught up and I can't WAIT for Wednesday night! That show really makes me think.
1. If I was stranded, could I survive? I know I could not do all that running! (Is it me or is there an awful lot of running through the jungle at very high speeds??)

2. Is it possible that even good change is bad? Hurley thinks so -

3. Can science and faith co-exist on any level? Would I do something I didn't really believe in just because something bad MIGHT happen if I didn't? Could I not do it if I did believe something bad might happen, just to see? How much proof do I require before I put my faith in something? Or do I go on gut feeling? And if I had studied something other than English, would I feel differently? (I was pre-med for a year until organic chemistry took me out!)

4. Again with the running.

5. How is Claire dealing with that baby?

6. Please please please let Charlie toss that heroin.

7. What the hell are they trying to do to us with that music at the end of each episode?

8. Is the other side of the island where the "Tailies" are supposed to be some Lord of the Flies reference? Ana Lucia scares me. Is that what they had to become in order to survive? Was it the leader that determined the mode and mood of survival? What does that say about leadership?

Enough, enough. But just so you know, I have been thinking.

Notes From All Over
Many things have happened in the world since my last post. I must, of course, comment.

1. Katie Holmes has been impregnated by L. Ron Hubbard. Her parents should not be mad. They should be getting a cult specialist brain-un-washer and get her the hell out. Did you know Tom is making her change her name to "Kate Cruise." I dare some man to tell me to change my name. He must have gotten way crazy since he and Nicole split - I do not see her putting up with this level of bullshit. Even for Tom Cruise.

2. What is the deal with the Scientology Silent Birth? I have had 2 c-sections and my doctor ran his mouth gossiping with the nurses through both of them (of course, we do not have the normal doctor-patient relationship. Calling your doctor "Greggie" transcends normalcy and gives the doctor certain liberties within the relationship - ie gossiping with the nurses).

3. Nick and Jessica - are they split? not split?

4. Ashlee Simpson - oh for God's sake she is 21 moving along.

5. Hubby actually finished his resume. I am mailing it out to everyone I can think of. FIND THIS MAN A JOB!

6. Carolyn went on a date, only she does not know it was a date. Gotta beat her over the head with it - I think this boy likes her!

7. Meghan can now open the fridge door all by herself. She gets her own bottle out. She is very funny - if there is no bottle in there, she just gets whatever she finds. So far today that has included a 2-liter diet coke and a half-eaten container of Rondele Garlic-Herb spread. She has also licked the fridge repeatedly.

8. Paris and Paris broke up. Good. She totally needs to marry for money, not for love. Guess he wasn't rich enough.

9. Lindsay Lohan is not getting enough attention. Poor girl.

10. Why in the world does Fez get so much play? He is not attractive! And yet he has done every starlet within 10 miles of Access Hollywood.

Enough cattiness for now. I will try and do better. I know I owe it to my public.

Both of you!