26 August, 2005

Confidential to the ladies at the grocery store, Other notes from the week, A New Theory...

Confidential to the Ladies in Front of Me at the Grocery Store
1. If there is even the slightest possibility that you are going to crap your pants in public, please carry some air freshener spray with you in that big purse you have.

2. Chances are, at some point during the transaction, you are going to have to PAY. So why don't you go ahead and get your money out. I won't steal it. Seriously.

3. When you do pay, at 10:00 on a Saturday night, how about bringing something smaller than a hundred.

4. Get you some teeth. Then wear them.

Now I don't mean to be mean, bless your heart. But these things would help me not make that evil, exasperated, pissy face when I am at the grocery store to buy stuff to make a covered dish for church the next day.


Other Notes from the Week
Not too much going on - we have all had this stomach bug so much of the usual Shannon house hilarity has been strained at best this week. My pinched nerve has been acting up and last weekend's headache has basically gone but is still sending out flares now and then. I know, I know. I sound like I am falling apart. It's really not that bad, just been a pretty stressful couple of weeks. One thing I have not been doing is exercising, but I am starting back walking in the morning. I just have to. It's not fair to any of us to keep on like this.

So, that is my plan. Again.

A New Theory

Weight loss is like kicking a substance habit. I was at a Substance Abuse training this morning and several of the signs and symptoms of Substance Abuse apply to my relationship with diet and exercise. It was eye opening and scary but of course made me think of a book idea - apply the principles of SA treatment for weight loss...and chronicle it....and see what happens. I am going to talk to the trainer and see if she would be interested in working with me on it. We might be the next Oprah diet!

Or I might finally kick this addiction to Bojangle's and Sonic and Taco Bell!

Not much going on this weekend - as usual. Going to try to get some projects done - as usual.

Woo hoo!

C- you are in my prayers.

Have a good weekend and be safe, sane and consensual.


Haiku Friday....Why? Haikus

Haiku Friday - Why?

Perhaps you have noticed...I am a verbose person. I like to write and talk and express and wail and carry on until everyone around me has dropped like flies, covered their ears, and begged for me to stop...

So Haikus, with their rules and their discipline and their 17 little syllables give me strict parameters and make me boil down my thoughts to their essence. At least that is the theory...


Days without posting
gastrointestinal flu
Not a pretty sight

Husband yells at kid
Kid cries but does not clean up
He needs a job now

Training this morning
Substance Abuse/HIV
Tough for a Friday

Question of the day
I will ask it in Haiku
No one will answer

If heaven exists
What will God say when you come?
What will you ask Him?

Britney looks like crap
Her belly is enormous
Baby Spears here soon

I will do better
Try to post every morning
Must get up on time

Haikus are not hard
Once you get in the rhythm
Think - 5-7-5

Almost time to cook
Dinner, the meal no one eats
Did I sound bitter?

Have a good weekend
Stranger-friends, as Rosie says
Please, leave a comment!


23 August, 2005

It Ain't Easy, Freak of the Week, Question of the Day, Anonymous


It Ain't Easy...
bein' me!

Pity party time - just a warning. You can skip down if you want. This is really just for me.

I feel very lonely right now. I feel like a lot is expected of me - both at home and with the extended family.

But I feel like I am contributing a lot in many different ways, and now it is expected rather than requested, and I am tired, and lonely, and I just don't think I am getting what I need in return. And I know the right thing to do is just TELL people, but I don't want to hurt them, and I don't want to seem as needy as I know I seem, but I feel empty and spent and worn out.

No one even seems to notice when I come home. All I get from my family, his family, and home is bad news and crap, and I just need someone to say Thanks - thanks for working and cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids every waking moment when you are not at work and doing the laundry and bringing home a paycheck and worrying all the time and listening to everybody bitch and we're sorry we don't run and hug you when you get home and we are sorry that all we ask you is if you brought is diet coke and we're sorry we never have dinner started and we really do love you and we recognize that you are doing everything you possibly can to hold things together and you are beautiful and go lay down and take a nap.

Is that too much to ask?

Question of the Day
Well, is it??


So, I label myself as a person of action and a strategic planner - what can I do to fix this?

I doubt that anyone involved, other than me, knows what I am feeling or what I need. So I need to somehow let them know without begging for thanks or getting some half-assed, short-lived change in the situation. How can I effect permanent, positive change?

I know, I really only have control over my reaction and response to the situation. And until my family knows what I want and need, it is very unfair to be mad at them for not giving it to me. None of us are mind readers and it is unreasonable of me to carry around this hurt and resentment and let everyone guess what is wrong with me.

But I also have to figure out a way to tell them that conveys my emotions, my truth, my authenticity without becoming so emotional as to close them off or make them pity me and not respect the validity of what I am saying.

Maybe we can go on Dr. Phil and he can help me. Or maybe there is a way to say it that is direct but not hurtful.

Why, oh why, do human relationships have to be SOOOOO difficult?

By the way, the real question of the day is - what is your favorite curse word?

Mine is the f-word. I don't like to see it written but I LOVE to say it.

It can mean lots of different things and convey lots of different emotions. It's versatile and flexible and has some shock value left to it (well, a little bit, anyway)!

Freak of the Week
That's right boys and girls. It's Tuesday and it is time for our weekly crowning of the biggest freak I have heard about this week.

This week's winner is....

Ashlee Simpson! (I can't find any links to the story I saw earlier this week).

She has done something horrific to her hair and apparently she is going to "sing" on SNL again - perhaps even the song on her album about the tragedy the last time she was on the show.

She is crazy! Stay home, Ashlee. Just let it die.

FREAK! If you want to see a picture - go to pinkisthenewblog.com and scroll for awhile - ugh!

Can you really be anonymous on the internet? Can you really be anonymous in life?

I am going to try to have an anonymous blog - no names, no links, no counters, no nothing. I am going to intentionally not have anything searchable. Just me, coping and bitching and carrying on!

So we shall see - maybe, even in today's world of instant and complete communication, we can still have something that is just for us!

22 August, 2005

Back Wax Cream, Pop In, Question of the Day, STRESSSSSS

Back Wax Cream
Molly brought her little fake jar of strawberry jam upstairs with her tonight (strictly against the rules - some toys live upstairs, some toys live downstairs, and never the twain shall meet.) But anyway she was running around pretending to rub something on Meghan's back and she started yelling, "Back wax cream! Back wax cream!" I asked her what she was doing and she informed, a bit condescendingly, "I'm giving Meggie her back wax cream."

Me: Really? What does that do?

Molly: It makes your back smooth and beautiful. Look at Meggie. Don't you want some back wax cream so your back will be smooth and beautiful like Meggie's?

Me: Google: Children's agents infomercials

Seriously. Maybe watching all that Queer Eye for the Straight Guy affected her after all - but she's not warped, she's just very fashion and grooming conscious.

Pop In
So Jeff and his ex-roommate Jay popped in over the weekend.

Well, they didn't really pop in - they called Bob while the parents and kids and I were at lunch and told him they were coming to get a book I promised Jeff he could borrow (7 Habits of Highly Effective People, if you must know). So anyway, they popped in, everyone was crazy, and Jay reminded me that the last time he saw Molly she was at liaisons, the gay bar, for drinks when Jeff left the agency we both used to work for. That was over 2 years ago.

Yes, I had a baby.

In a bar.

A gay bar, no less. She had a Shirley Temple in her sippy cup. What a cool childhood! Or...weird....depending on which therapist's couch she lands on...

So the pop in was cool - it used to bother me if things are not perfect but now, I work/commute about 900 hours a week and have at least one night a week that I am out past their bed time, so I figure what the hell - what you see is what you get, and if you are judging me by the number of toys in the floor or the amount of dog hair in the carpet, well, go ahead. I yam what I yam, and I yam a mess!!

(Jeffy - it was great to see you, and my dad still wants his special birthday song and dance.....)

Question of the Day
Olivia Newton-John's boyfriend has been missing at sea for 7 weeks - why are we just now hearing about it?

Why?? THIS is news.

Olivia Newton-John has a boyfriend? I thought she was with Danny...from Grease....

No, see, the real news to me is that he was on a boat June 30. The boat, a charter fishing boat, came back the next day and he was not on it. That would be July 1.

His family did not report him missing until he missed a family gathering on July 6. And we are just now hearing about it on August 26.

Very weird to me. Very weird.

So very stressed last week I ended up with a horrible migraine on Saturday that lasted well into Sunday. No medicine I took worked, reiki and biofeedback and imagery failed me, and even the ministrations of Dr. Molly and a cool cloth on my head could not tame the beastly migraine.

When I woke up this morning, I was pain free - but hung over from too much medication. Sometimes I miss the old days when I'd just take a day off work, lay on my couch, listen to a very soft TV and ignore the world. But then Dr. Molly brings me a new cool cloth and I realize that an extra day of migraine pain every now and again is worth it to have these sweet little girls who love me just because I am me. So the stress is all worth it, the work is rewarded, and I curl up in my comfy bed with my beautiful babies and I dare the universe to strike me again.

And it will. And Molly will bring me a cool cloth and Meggie will kiss me with her sweet baby kisses and I will remember - it's OK, it'll get better, and this is a small price to pay.